If you’re an ENFJ, you know the struggle. If you make a friend, it’s a friend for life, in your mind. You have a desire to help your friends be the best they can be and you want to be in constant relationship with them. If we’re not careful, we can apply this thinking to not just our current friendships, but to past friendships too. But the effort of constantly trying to maintain friendships with people who, if we’re being honest with ourselves, forgot about us a long time ago, we’re putting ourselves through unnecessary emotional pain. And that’s why I decided that in 2016, I’m not going to chase people or friendships anymore. Here’s how to know when it’s time to let a friend go.
1. They don’t reach out anymore.
One minute you’re hanging out all the time and then suddenly you never hear from them. Ever. When you ask to hang out and catch up, they’re “too busy” every time. It’s confusing and hurtful, but it’s probably time to move on.
2. You’re putting in all the effort.
It sucks when you’re the only one trying to keep a friendship alive. But if you’re the only one trying, it’s a clear sign that the person you thought was your friend, really doesn’t care all that much about you. A one-sided friendship isn’t a friendship at all.
3. It’s become a toxic friendship
A toxic friendship isn’t good for either party. If you bring out the worst in each other, it might be time to sever the ties.
It’s not fun to let go of people you really care about, but if a friendship is doing more harm than good, it’s time to let go. In the words of St. Jerome, “a friendship that can cease has never been real.”